From Nimai Pandit dasa


Dear Gurudeva,
His Divine Grace Śrīla Ācārya Thakura Gour Govinda Swami Mahārāja.

Please accept my humble obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet.
All glories to your divine self.
All glories to your divine master Śrīla AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda.


By Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura

kṛpā-bindu diyā, koro’ ei dāse,
tṛṇāpekhā ati hīna
sakala sahane, bala diyā koro’,
nija-māne spṛhā-hīna

“Gurudeva, give to this servant just one drop of mercy. I am lower than a blade of grass. Give me all help. Give me strength. Let me be as you are, without desires or aspirations.”

sakale sammāna korite śakati,
deho’ nātha! jathājatha
tabe to’ gāibo, hari-nāma-sukhe,
aparādha ha ‘be hata

“I offer you all respects, for thus I may have the energy to know you correctly. Then, by chanting the holy name in great ecstasy, all my offenses will cease.”

kabe heno kṛpā, labhiyā e jana,
kṛtārtha hoibe, nātha!
śakti-buddhi-hīna, āmi ati dīna,
koro’ more ātma-sātha

“O Lord and Master! When will such mercy fall to this one who is weak and devoid of intelligence? Allow me to be with you.”

jogyatā-vicāre, kichu nāhi pāi,
tomāra karuṇā-sāra
karuṇā nā hoile, kāndiyā kāndiyā,
prāṇa nā rākhibo āra

“If you examine me, you will find no qualities. Your mercy is all that I am made of. If you are not merciful unto me, I can only weep, and I will not be able to maintain my life.”

Also the Padma Purāṇa has stated:

na karma-bandhanaṁ janma
vaiṣṇavānāṁ ca vidyate
viṣṇur anucaratvaṁ hi
mokṣam āhur manīṣiṇaḥ

“Vaiṣṇavas are not bound by fruitive activities or forced to take birth, because learned persons have firmly declared that service to Lord Viṣṇu is itself liberation.”

Also in the Śrī Caitanya Bhāgavata it is written:

yathā saumitri-bharatau
yathā saṅkarṣaṇādayaḥ
tathā tenaiva jāyante
martya-lokaṁ yadṛcchayā

punas tenaiva yāsyanti
tad viṣṇoḥ śāśvataṁ padam
na karma-bandhanaṁ janma
vaiṣṇavānāṁ ca vidyate

“Just as Bharata and Lakṣmaṇa, the son of Sumitrā, and just as Saṅkarṣaṇa and other forms of the Supreme Lord appear in this world by Their own desire, similarly the Vaiṣṇavas, who are associates of the Lord, appear with the Lord and then return to the eternal abode with the Lord. The Vaiṣṇavas, like Viṣṇu, are not subjected to birth as a result of fruitive activities.” (Śrī Caitanya Bhāgavata Adi Khanda text 109 by Śrīla Vṛndāvana Dāsa Thakura)

The appearance of the spiritual master and the disappearance are non-different I have not exactly figured this out as yet Gurudeva. When you were physically present we were all in great ecstasy and now that you are not physically present we are all in agony. So to speak! I know everyone will quote this poem by Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura:

He reasons ill who says that Vaisnavas die,
When thou art living still in sound!
The Vaisnavas die to live, and living try
To spread the holy name around.

So the Vaiṣṇava does not have an appearance or a disappearance; however Gurudeva we do celebrate your appearance (we are so fortunate that you came to this world) and we do observe your disappearance (even though we are still traumatised by your disappearance). So how to reconcile this?

All I know is that when you were physically present functioning on planet earth was easier, and now that you are not physically present then functioning on planet earth is not so easy.

In 1995 on your last visit to Australia you said, “ …you will all be severely tested…”

In your great, wonderful and amazing lecture you have stated:

“…Guru may be present here or guru may have disappeared. When he has left this planet and is not present physically, still, that bhakta, the very advanced devotee or jāta-rati, who has already developed taste, and has reached the minimum stage of niṣṭhā, and beyond that bhāva or aśakti, ruci stage, niṣṭhā rucis tataḥ athāsaktis, there is no question of disappearance of guru. He is with guru, he sees guru and guru never disappears from his vision. He always sees the presence of his guru and always realises this, but the minimum stage is niṣṭhā. One should achieve the minimum stage of niṣṭhā, otherwise that apprehension that guru-pāda-padma may disappear is there for you…”
(From a lecture Śrī Guru Caraṇa Padma The Lotus Feet of Śrī Guru 31 May 1994 American Canyon, USA)

So, Gurudeva to reach the level of niṣṭhā means no anarthas. The anarthas must go! That is a tough one, I am full of anarthas. You have listed them many times in your lectures.

They are:

1. tattva-bhrama – illusion about spiritual knowledge.

2. hṛdaya-daurbalya – weakness of heart.

3. aparādha – offenses.

4. asat-tṛṣṇa – material desires.

Then there is four categories within each:

1. Tattva-bhrama – illusion about spiritual knowledge.

The four types are:

1. sva-tattva-dbhrama – illusion about one’s original position as a taṭasthā-jīva

2. para-tattva-bhrama – illusion about the nature of the Supreme Lord

3. sādhya-sādhana-bhrama – illusion about the processes of sādhana and prema-bhakti

4. virodhi-viṣaya-bhrama – illusion regarding subjects unfavourable to Kṛṣṇa consciousness

2. Hṛdaya-daurbalya – weakness of heart.

The four types are:

1. tucchāsakti – attachment to subjects not related to Kṛṣṇa

2. kuṭināṭī – deceitfulness

3. mātsaryam – enviousness

4. pratiṣṭhā – desire for fame

3. Aparādha – offenses.

The four types are:

1. kṛṣṇa-svarūpa-aparādha – offenses towards the form of the Lord

2. nāma-aparādha – offenses to the Holy Name of the Lord

3. kṛṣṇa-tadiya-aparādha – offenses to the devotees

4. jīva-aparādha – offenses to other living entities

4. Asat-tṛṣṇa – material desires.

The four types are:

1. aihikeṣvaṣana – desire for material objects

2. para-trikeṣu – desire for heavenly comforts

3. bhūti-vañcha – desire for mystic powers

4. mumukṣa – desire for liberation

So, Gurudeva how do we get through the labyrinth of anarthas? Gurudeva, Śrīla Jiva Goswami gives the answer in his Bhakti Sandarba. He states; if Kṛṣṇa is pleased then the anarthas will go, however for Kṛṣṇa to be pleased guru must be pleased then all the anarthas will disappear.

Therefore we need to enter kṛṣṇa-saṁsāra however we can only do that by entering guru-saṁsāra.

So, Gurudeva please help me relieve myself of all anarthas so that I may see you once again.

Your lowly, trying to be a disciple,

Nimāi Pandit dāsa