From Vraja Vilasa dasa


Dear Srila Gour Govinda Swami,

namo om visnu padaya krsna prestahaya bhutale
srimate gour govinda swami iti namine

Please accept my most humblest obeisances unto your lotus feet.

I am not a scholar. Neither a poet. Not a great writer. Nor can I claim to know you intimately. I cannot pretend I am someone special or dear to you just by writing some flowery words on paper on this day (so that the people in general can see how ‘devoted’ I am). That won’t fool you. And of course I cannot really glorify you properly anyway, as whatever is written by me here will fall short.

Nonetheless, I have to try to glorify you on this day, and I want to. I need to. To not do so would be a huge failing and offense on my part. How will bhakti develop inside me without doing so? So I pray to the Lord that I may be able to write something in glorification of you with some sincerity and that yourself, Srila Prabhupada, the Supreme Lord and your dear disciples are pleased.

I recently heard from one of your seniormost disciples (and have also heard this from Srila Prabhupada), that it is “not so difficult thing” to glorify the spiritual master in words. He explained that we are actually meant to be living our entire lives in glorification of you, as an everyday offering to Guru. So I cannot try and cheat you and Krsna by simply writing some decorative words and expect that I will automatically obtain your mercy, or that Krsna will be pleased by what I have to put down on paper. Guru and Krsna know my heart, all my faults, how crooked and duplicitous I am, so it is clear as day to you where I am actually situated. I honestly cannot claim that I am your true follower; that would be a clear lie. At best I am a pretender, a charlatan. It would only be if I can factually live every day as an offering to you—my body, mind and soul, speech and actions fully dedicated to you—that I would properly glorify you, and then my existence not be considered artificial, partial or conditional. I am far from this point.

I also cannot say to know how it really feels to lose the physical presence of one’s guru. However for your dedicated servants, this is indeed a sad occasion. For those who have developed genuine love and affection towards you and live their lives as an offering to you — you who are so very dear to Lord Krsna, you who are an intimate maidservant of Srimati Radharani, radha-priya-sakhi, and you who are so very dear to Lord Caitanya, a true gaura-priya-jana — for them, this is a very difficult time, as the memory of your disappearance creates intense suffering and longing to be in your association. The fire of separation does not stop burning for them, and they continuously think of nothing else but you and your happiness, at every moment.

For such persons, your genuine disciples, they ask, “Now, what to do? Where to go?” Where can those, who are crying in their hearts, who are suffering so much due to separation from you, where can these great swan-like personalities, these true lovers of God, go now to get your association, seeing as you have apparently left their vision? Where can they get solace and shelter? For them the entire world is as if vacant and a giant hole has been left in their hearts. Being pierced by the sharp javelin of your unexpected departure for Goloka Vrndavana their hearts are rent with pain and they always feel the acute pangs of your separation. They spend their days and nights, twenty-fours hours a day, just constantly engaged in your service, always thinking of you, always thinking how to please you and make you happy. They cry constantly in the core of their hearts. This is not pretense, artificial, sentimental or some show. This is factual, practical and is exhibited and evinced by their full surrender unto your lotus feet, by the fact that they spend their days worshiping you with their body, minds and words, without a break. By your mercy, you revealed such personalities to me. I thank you and am eternally indebted.

Such sincere servants of yours are the only ones who really show us how to appropriately glorify you on these days. They know that the only way to mitigate these sufferings of separation is to serve you, think of you and your teachings at all times, and follow the instructions you gave them. They know no other business but you. They have no other thought but you. They have no material desires, no material possessions, as Krsna is situated in the core of their hearts. They see everything as to be utilised only in your service and they are unattached — to women, name, fame, profit, adoration or distinction and any other type of sense gratification. Their only attachment is to your lotus feet, to your instructions. They are only attached to adoring you, for seeking your fame and distinguishing you. Due to their dedication and true surrender, whomever they meet, they attract to your lotus feet. They see everyone as sent by you to be engaged in your mission, that same mission as brought by Srila Prabhupada, as inaugurated by Mahaprabhu — that of delivering Krsna prema to the fallen conditioned souls. Such loyal servants of yours show us how you are to be worshiped on this day.

They are truly your own dear servants and whom are feeling the most pain today. It is by their association, by their example, that we see how one should actually worship you every day of the year. By their presence and by seeing how they live their lives, we can come to understand your glory and what it may be like to sincerely worship you. They bring us hope. By pleasing them, I know I can please you.

These sincere disciples of yours never left the institution of your guru; they remained chaste. They strictly followed your instructions. Therefore they are able to properly represent you, and thus only they can speak boldly and uncompromisingly, as you did. Their words are empowered by transcendental potency. Through their speech, we hear you.

Your serious disciples are humble and simple. They are obedient to you and thus worshipable objects. Such personalities think of nothing else but you and Krsna. Thus they are glorified in the three worlds. Such devotees are never out of the Lord’s sight, nor He from they, and to say He is mightily pleased by such dear servants is an understatement. They simply do His bidding at all times. They have no separate interest, always being in a compact of love with the Lord. Whomever you and the Lord send to them, they lovingly take care of them as your own, just like a loving father would, bringing them closer to your lotus feet and thus to the Lord. This is all they do. They do nothing else. They serve you day and night. This is their only solace, their asset and treasure. By such uninterrupted and pure-hearted, simple service and surrender, they please you day and night and remain absorbed in you. Thus, your separation becomes somewhat tolerable.

Such personalities lead the way for us conditioned souls, by showing how one must mould one’s life in the absence of the bona fide guru, and how to properly worship the genuine spiritual master every single day. They are glorifying you by their daily activities, by their body, mind and words. They are in fact living bhagavatas, as by their pure presence we see the example of how one should actually glorify Sri Guru, every day and at all times. They have given up all selfish interest. They are not concerned with either jnana, mukti or bhukti. They have rejected religiosity. They have given up all material relationships. They are truly surrendered. They alone hold the key to developing pure love for you, pure love for Krsna, for they have bound Krsna up in their hearts. Such people can give Krsna to others. They do the greatest welfare work for humanity, and on your behalf.

Such sincere servants of yours see everyone as Krsna servants, as they have divine vision. They are trustworthy. They are reliable. They are unswerving and unfailing in all circumstances. Why? Because they have pure, unadulterated love for you. By witnessing them, by serving them, by submitting to them and surrendering to them, I may be able to understand something of what it means to glorify you. Without this, what can I really know of you and how could I possibly glorify you? Simply by words? By writing something on papaer? This is insufficient. It won’t be enough to convince you of my seriousness. It mustn’t be from the lips. You condemned this repeatedly. So, only by surrendering to those who you have deputised, whom you have entrusted with your mission, whom you have empowered, can I really, truly come to a position whereby I can properly glorify you — by my living example.

So, for them, you are always present and you never left them, for you remain in their hearts. They show how to properly worship you, Sri Guru, in separation.

I pray to be able to become qualified to one day take the dust from their feet upon my head. I wish I could be on that level. By serving them, I hope I may obtain a similar result. That is my faint hope, my only hope. I pray, that on this day, those who have surrendered unto your lotus feet may have all success in their endeavours, all protection and that they may continue to glorify you. These persons light up the dense darkness of Kali Yuga and without them, the entire world is factually vacant and I have no shelter, no real connection to you. These person are living glorifications of you. I can know you only through them. May I follow and serve them, and the sincere and genuine followers and servants of them, a hundred, a thousand and a million times removed. May I simply become a speck of dust at their lotus feet.

I pray that you may somehow bless me that I can develop pure, unadulterated love for your dear servants, and thus please you. That I can develop some real and genuine attachment and affection for these dearmost servants of yours, that they will be pleased to bestow upon my a particle of their mercy that flows from theirs and your lotus feet, and that is coming all the way from Goloka Vrndavana. That is my only prayer. I pray that you may bless me to give up my pretense and pride and develop pure love and affection for those that have genuinely surrendered unto you. Please allow me to become simple like you and please help me to recognise your pure servant, those who are akincana, those who know nothing but you, who see you in the core of their hearts, those who factually have Krsna prema. They glorify you at every moment and worship you at every moment.

May you continue to live on through the sincere efforts of your beloved, dearmost disciples and may you please bless me that I may always have their association, and by that, that I may finally become sincere and serious.

Without recognising, cooperating with, and serving those you have specifically selected and duly empowered to continue your mission, then how can I ever get your mercy? It would be disrespectful if I ignored them. How would you be pleased? So, today I pray that you may please bless me that I get the strength, intelligence to do exactly that — fully surrender to those you have entrusted with your mission. For by surrendering to those dear, intimate disciples of yours, those whom you have chosen to represent you, I will surely obtain your mercy and then I will be able to properly glorify you on this day.

Srimad Gour Govinda Swami, ki jai!
Srila Prabhupada, ki jai!
Srila Gurudeva, ki jai!Gaura premanande!

A fallen soul,

Vraja Vilasa dasa